Silence

Sometimes silence can be golden, but at moments it can be uncomfortable and awkward. It is a nonverbal cue communicates a lot by “saying” so little. Kieth Basso identifies five situations in which silence is appropriate: meeting strangers, courting someone, seeing friends after a long absence, getting cussed out, and being with people who are grieving. I agree with these but I believe that there are more contexts in which silence is acceptable. We had to take note of silence in three situations, in class, with friends, and with family. Out of those, silence in the classroom was by far the most uncomfortable. Silence in a classroom usually indicates that the students are not fully engaged or prepared. This happened in one of my classes when the instructor asked a question. I believe that is normal to have silence for about ten seconds after a question is asked because students need to think about the question and the answer. The question went unanswered and the silence continued for a few seconds, which, felt like minutes. In this case the silence conveyed that the students were not prepared or that they did not understand what was being asked. It was an uncomfortable situation because all the students knew that it was quite obvious that no one knew the answer. Not as awkward, was silence with my friends. I feel comfortable around them enough to not have to fill silence with noise. In fact I would find it more awkward if I felt the need to constantly babble in order to avoid a silence. Although I will admit that silence on the phone with a friend is a bit rougher than in person. Silence with a friend feels normal for me and it just shows that we both are comfortable enough with each other and with silence. I was most comfortable with silence in my family. Many perceive that silence indicates a lack of interest but I think of it completely different especially when it comes to family. I have grown up with my family and for the most part see them on a daily basis. We know pretty much everything about one another and therefore do not need to constantly talk. To me the silence with my family felt normal especially if there was no conversation going on. Silence defiantly does differ from one context to another. I am most comfortable with it when nothing verbal is expected from me and when I am completely at ease with the people surrounding me. It was most awkward in the classroom because we are expected to answer and talk and when that does not occur than the message it conveys is negative, but when no verbal message is expected and silence where silence is a norm its presence is neutral. I have realized that for the most part I am comfortable with silence and I actually feel awkward when I am forced to fill silence with words.